This thread is now the worst moment of your life.
Mine just happened.
My roommate had his gf over today, so I was sitting downstairs on the couch fucking around on Youtube while they hung out upstairs. I'd had to shit but was too lazy to get up, so I was just farting a lot, when I noticed that a bit of ooze was leaking down my ass.
I got up to run to the bathroom (upstairs) as quick as I could, but didnt quite make it before I released. I was able to squeeze off most of it, but a good portion of the liquid shit got on my boxers and shorts, and the insides of my thighs. I stripped the soiled clothes and turned on the shower, but when I went to hop in I stepped on the curtain, slipped, and fell half in, half out of the shower tearing the shower curtain down with me.
My roommate and his gf had apparently heard me fail-sprint upstairs, and then heard me fall in the bathroom, and came to see what was wrong.
In my haste I hadnt locked the door, and when all of a sudden I heard the door knob turn and the door begin to open I fucking panicked.
I tried to kick the door closed.
I kicked the roommate's gf in the knee as she came to see if I was alright. She fell forward and nailed her head on the shower curtain, and then fell forward onto, yes, my soiled underwear. She is now on her way to the hospital, and while the roommate washed off much of the blood and shit, she still has it mixed on her cheek and neck.
He didnt speak to me at all during the time while we waited for the ambulance, so I called a a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror.
If anything I can say this cab is rare but I thought 'Naw forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air.'
